Self-controlling is when a person is cool under pressure, does not become defensive or irritated when times are tough and is considered mature. This characteristic helps a person be open about personal beliefs and feelings. They can share thoughts about their personal strengths, weaknesses, and limitations, while admitting their mistakes and shortcomings. Furthermore, this person is a focused listener who can see conflict as opportunity and settle disputes equitably. In addition, he or she takes on responsibility when needed, and can handle situations where there are contradictions.